After reading yesterday’s blog, RVing’s Top 10, my friend Connie Bradish suggested maybe we needed a Bottom 10 list, and suggested, in no particular order:

1. A major dumping event, like the hose comes off and it’s all over.
2. A tire blowout, especially if it’s the right front tire.
3. Being sunk up to your rear axles in a designated camping spot.
4. Being sunk up to your axles in a non-camping spot.
5. Dragging the tow car behind the RV because it’s still in gear.
6. Driving a back road, and coming up to a bridge with a 10 foot maximum clearance, you need 13 feet and you have to stop, unhitch and turn the coach around, all while blocking traffic.
7. Driving a road you shouldn’t be on, like the southwest road around Lake Tahoe in you big RV and tow car.
8. Having a husband and wife disagreement while backing into a site, accompanied by funny hand signals from one partner to another.
9. Having a pet get out, and you can’t find them.
10. Hitting a low rock, post or cone, or an overhang of a building or a tree, damaging your coach.

Connie admitted that she and her husband Pete have scored 10 out of 10 on this list. I think we’ve missed just one, which is having a pet slip out the door, never to be found. When Miss Terry’s cat, Sasquatch was still with us, he was quite the escape artist, but he never went far.

But 9 out of 10 on the Rock Bottom list isn’t a bad (or in this case, good) record. Less than a week into our fulltming life, we were camped in a fairgrounds in Torrington, Wyoming, on our way to Life on Wheels in Moscow, Idaho. We had the place to ourselves, so I had nobody but myself to blame when I pulled out of our site and turned too soon, swinging the back end of our shiny new Pace Arrow motorhome into the concrete pedestal that held the water and electric hookups.   

I was just sick, and to Miss Terry’s credit, she didn’t shoot me, or even thump me with a rolling pin. Believe me, there was nothing she could have said to me that was worse than I was calling myself. I was still kicking myself three days later when we got to Moscow, where I met Dick Reed, founder of the RV Driving School. When I told him my sad tale of woe, Dick took my by the hand and led me to the back of the row where the instructors’ RVs were parked.

“Do you see the ding in that one,” Dick asked. “That belongs to Bill Farlow. Bill did that on a tree stump last year. This one here is Charlie Minshall’s rig. See that ding? Lord know what Charlie hit. And this one here, with the dented bumper belongs to…” By the time our tour was finished, I felt a lot better about my own mishap, and I had made a friend for life.

We’ve been stuck and we’ve been really stuck, and it’s never fun. This picture was taken at an RV park in Ohio a few years back. It had been raining for days, and we were nervous about pulling onto grass, but when we arrived, the park owner told us another bus had just left the same site. It must have been a Volkswagen bus, because our MCI promptly sunk up to its rear axle!

But anybody can get stuck in soft ground. In Bremerton, Washington, I proved that it is possible to drive a bus up a hill so steep that your front tires are on the pavement, and your rear bumper is digging into the pavement, but your drive tires are three inches in the air!

I also proved that while you can drive into that situation, you cannot drive back out of it! Getting out requires a very large tow truck, the police department to stop traffic, the fire department’s haz-mat crew to clean up the 36 gallons of radiator coolant that spills when the the tow truck cable snags a hose, and the local news crew. Did I mention I was going the wrong way up a one way street at the time?

When all was said and done, I asked the police officer in charge of the scene how big a ticket I was getting, and he replied “What with the tow bill, the radiator coolant you need to buy, the hose you need to replace, and the roses you’ll need to buy your wife to make up for this, I couldn’t in good faith give you a ticket. I’m a married man too!”

I also remember driving out of one of our first RV parks, and how everybody waved at us as we drove past. I commented to Terry about how nice everybody was, and wave right back. It wasn’t until I got to the street and glanced in my rear view mirrors that I noticed that I had left all of our window awnings out. Of course, at that point there was no way I was going to stop and get out, so I just drove away, while poor MIs Terry hung out the windows unhooking the awnings as we went!

So yeah, I could easily do a Rock Bottom 10 – been there, done that, and a few more. How about you? What were some of your worst RVing goofs?

Thought For The Day – Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.

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When we started fulltiming, a veteran road warrior told me that you’re not a real RVer until you have accomplished most, if not all, of what he called RVing’s Top 10 experiences. We must be slow learners, because after eleven years on the road, we still have a couple to go. So are we real RVers yet?

1 – Boondocking: To truly experience the freedom that the RV lifestyle has to offer, at least once you should spend a few days or even a week or two boondocking, also called dry camping. I define boondocking as living without being hooked up to a water source or electrical outlet, living off my RV’s systems. The feeling of independence you get when you sever the campground umbilical cord is something you must experience to understand. Whether you prefer to camp for weeks on end on BLM land in the desert or just cross the country spending the night in the parking lots of RV friendly businesses like WalMart, boondocking can save you a lot of money, and once you get used to it, it is lots of fun!

2 - Quartzsite: If you spend any time at all around fulltime or snowbird RVers, before too long someone will ask you if you have been to Quartzsite yet. Located on Interstate 10 about 125 miles west of Phoenix, Quartzsite is a sleepy little Arizona desert town of a couple hundred people most of the year. But every January, thousands and thousands of RVers descend on Quartzsite to boondock on Bureau of Land Management (BLM) land in the surrounding desert, and to attend the big Quartzsite RV Show and the numerous flea markets, rock and gem shows, and other events held every winter. It’s big, it’s crowded, it’s dusty, and it’s fun! Some people love it and some attend once and seek quieter activities for future outings. If you have not been to Quartzsite yet, you owe it to yourself to experience it at least once.

3 – Rainbows End in Livingston, Texas: Rainbows End is the Mecca for serious RVers. National Headquarters of the Escapees RV Club, literally thousands of RVers “live” on Rainbow Drive in Livingston, the address of the Escapees Mail Service. Rainbows End includes a very nice RV park, the club’s National Headquarters, and CARE, the adult care center the Escapees created to provide assistance to retired RVers and those recuperating from illness or surgery. RVers come to Rainbows End to license their vehicles and become “legal” Texans, to tour the club’s mail forwarding service, to meet friends, and just hang out with like-minded folks.

4 – The Rally: RV rallies offer the opportunity for fun, fellowship, and education, and the biggest RV rally is the Affinity Group’s annual mega-event, known simply as The Rally. Thousands of people come to camp, shop the vendors, attend seminars, enjoy entertainment from top named performers, visit with old friends and make new ones. This year’s event will be in Louisville, Kentucky July 22 – 25.

5 – Escapade: Though not on the huge scale of The Rally, the annual Escapees Club Escapades are events no RVer should miss. You will meet lots of nice people, attend some excellent seminars, and enjoy the entertainment every evening. This year’s Escapade will be in Goshen, Indiana September 12- 17.

6 – Slab City: Located on an abandoned military base in Niland, California, Slab City is a popular gathering place every winter for RVers who come to boondock and enjoy what many call the last great bastion of freedom in America. Populated by serious RVers, snowbirds, eccentrics who live there year round, and an assortment of colorful characters, Slab City is another one of those places you either love or hate. Check it out once, and draw your own conclusions.

7 – Elkhart Indiana: Home to at least half of the RV manufacturers in the country, Elkhart, Indiana has a lot to offer RVers, from factory tours to RV surplus stores, displays of some of the earliest RVs at the RV Hall of Fame Museum, RV rallies, and lots of fun exploring the Amish countryside just east of town.

8 – Highway 101, Oregon Coast: This is surely one of the most spectacular drives in the United States, offering beautiful ocean vistas, charming fishing villages, beach combing, whale watching, lighthouses, and memories around every bend in the road.

9 – Padre Island: Every winter RVers come to Padre Island National Seashore, near Corpus Christie, Texas to dry camp at Padre Island National Seashore. A $10 annual permit is required, and water and a dump station are free. There is no time limit, and many RVers stay the entire season.

10 – The Alaska Highway: This is the ultimate RV destination for many. A trip up the Alaska Highway includes adventure, wonderful scenery, wildlife, history, and memories to last a lifetime. The road is not nearly as bad as some people would want you to believe, but the experiences you will have are more than anyone could ever describe.

Well, are you a real RVer? How many of these Top 10 can you lay claim to?

Thought For The Day – If God is willing to forgive us, why do we sometimes find it so hard to forgive ourselves?

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I was awakened earlier than usual yesterday morning by a bird pecking on our bedroom window. Miss Terry shooed it away, but the dumb thing came right back, and was at it again. I was real tempted to get my BB gun and teach it a lesson, but I don’t do those kind of things any more, since Terry got me housebroken. So I just cussed the bird and all of his feathered friends, and got out of bed to start my day.

Terry and Jan White spent the morning with some “girl time,” shopping and having fun without having to deal with us guys sighing and impatiently looking at our wristwatches.

We love spending time with Greg and Jan, and we’ll be sorry to see them leave today. It’s been a fun visit. But then again, we always have fun with those two! Fun seems to be their middle names. Check out this picture of them from the Awkward Family Photos website. I just love the look on Jan’s face! At least Greg looks like he’s having a wonderful time. Be sure to read the comments left by readers about the picture, especially the “Priceless” one.

We’re jealous that Greg and Jan are going to be on the road today. We have enjoyed our time here in our old hometown with my daughter Tiffany and her family, but we sure are looking forward to seeing some sights. We had planned to leave tomorrow or Tuesday, but between the delays in getting the paper finished, and wanting to stay here a few days until some tests come back on a couple of family medical issues, we will be here a little while longer.

A while back I mentioned my pal Jaimie Hall Bruzenak and Alice Zyetz’s new e-book, Retire to an RV: The Road Map to Affordable Retirement Living. It’s a great guide for anyone contemplating the RV lifestyle. While the ladies were out yesterday morning, Greg uploaded a link to their new book, which you will find in the column on the right hand side of this blog page. Check it out and download your copy today. You’ll also find links to some of Jamie and Alice’s other books, including The Woman’s Guide to Solo RVing and Taking the Mystery out of RV Writing.

Today I’ll be working on the new issue of the Gypsy Journal, and I think I may be getting a handle on the new InDesign layout program. It’s still taking longer than I had expected, but hopefully I’ll start making better time, now that I have learned some of the program’s quirks.

Some readers have asked how I feel about my new iPad, now that I’ve had it a while. I can honestly say that as I have become more familiar with it, and all that it is capable of, I am even more impressed with the iPad than I was the day I got it.

Well, this has been fun, but it’s time to get back to work and try to knock out a few more pages.

Thought For The Day – If it weren’t for stress, I’d have no energy at all.

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Except for a brief visit from my daughter Tiffany yesterday, and a break to go to dinner with Greg and Jan White, I spent most of the day at my desk working on the new issue of the Gypsy Journal.

Since I am in the process of switching production from our antiquated Adobe PageMaker computer page layout program to the current InDesign program that most of the newspaper industry uses these days, there is a learning curve that I am trying to master.

That being said, I really don’t have much to write about for today’s blog, so instead, I thought that I’d post a blog on frequently asked questions (FAQs) about the Gypsy Journal. We get some questions over and over about how we produce the paper, and why we do things the way we do. Here are some of our most often asked questions, and an explanation of the whys and wherefores of how we do what we do.

Q. How do I know when my subscription is due to expire?

A. We send out a renewal notice with your paper two issues before it is due to expire, and again with the last issue before expiration. For subscribers to our digital issue, we send an e-mail alerting them when it is time to renew. There is also a number on the top line of your address on the envelope the paper arrives in. That number is the issue your subscription expires with. The issue number is always in our masthead, at the bottom right of Page 2. For example, I am working on issue 67, so if the number on the top line of your address block is 70, you have three more issues to go before you are due to renew.

Q. What does the letter C, G or R after my expiration number mean?

A. The C is a code we use to tell us you have a courtesy subscription (usually given away as a door prize at a rally). G means you have a gift subscription. R means you are a customer that has renewed in the past. You may also see a series of letters after the expiration number. LOW means you first subscribed at Life on Wheels, OW means you came to us from the old Out West newspaper, and TLR means you were a subscriber to Two Lanes Roads before that publication shut down.

Q. Why do you use different printers and mail houses around the country, instead of just having one place you use to print and mail each issue?

A. Because we travel all of the time, and because we always print several thousand extra copies to pass out at rallies and RV parks, shipping those extra papers to wherever we may be would be both expensive, and cause travel delays that we can’t afford.

Q. Why don’t you just go to an all electronic format instead of a printed publication?

A. While we do have a digital issue available, the great majority of our readers tell us they want the printed format. I’m a dinosaur who loves the feel and smell of ink and newsprint. Besides, it’s too hard to carry your laptop computer to the bathroom.

Q. Why don’t you have very much outside advertising in the Gypsy Journal?

A. I have sold millions of dollars worth of advertising in my newspaper career, and even though I’m pretty good at it, I hate sales. I’d much rather spend my time searching out new things to write about. Also, when you have advertisers, they sometimes want to dictate what a publication can say. I’m too stubborn for that. If I think a particular product is junk, I say so. Not many companies want to spend their advertising dollars with a publication that may tell the truth about their products. If we could find an experienced, energetic salesperson, we would probably let them try to build up our ad count a bit, but we’re not trying to make a fortune, just get by, and our business model has worked so far for us.

Q. Why isn’t your telephone number included on your masthead on Page 2 so I can call you if I want to?

A. We do not have an established office; we run our business from the road. We check our e-mail several times a day, and we usually receive snail mail every week. Those are the best ways to reach us. At one time we did publish our telephone number, and it became a problem. We got calls at midnight when we were on the East coast from people on the West coast who were looking for a campground for the night and wanted recommendations. When we were on the West coast, we got calls at 6 a.m. from people on the East coast wanting to tell us about a funny sign they had seen and should include in the paper. It just became too much of a problem.

Q. Why do you have other websites, such as your Honor A Veteran or the Bad Nick Blog?

A. We have several websites, GypsyJournal.net, MotorcycleTravelOnline.com, Publishing4Profit.com, HonorAVeteran.com, and the Bad Nick Blog. I started them partly because they cover topics I am interested in and saw a need for, and partly for economic reasons. Each time someone clicks the ad links on our websites, we make a small commission. It all adds up to help us make a profit.

Q. What happened to your Today’s Hero Blog?

A. While I really enjoyed Today’s Hero, and it is still online, though I haven’t updated it in months. People just stopped sending in new nominations and I ran out of heroes to write about. I’d like to revive it someday if there is enough interest.

Q. Why is your main website GypsyJournal.net instead of .com?

A. The .com suffix was already taken when I started our Gypsy Journal website and the .net was the next best thing available.

Q. You seem to be going in a dozen different directions at once, between the paper, your rallies, speaking at RV events, and your websites. Where do you find the time for everything?

A. Everything in life takes some sacrifice, and one has to set priorities. In my case, I have given up dieting and exercise to squeeze in the extra time I need. Seriously, I’m pretty much a Type A person and I thrive on all of this. After a lifetime of publishing daily and weekly newspapers, having a deadline come around every two months is like a permanent vacation, and I need to fill the time.

Q. You do an Eastern and a Western rally every year. How about a third, floater rally, maybe in the Pacific Northwest one time, in the south another time?

A. This has come up before, and Miss Terry assures me that if I add one more event, she’ll be sitting under a palm tree on a beach somewhere when it happens. We can only stretch ourselves so far.

Q. I have all of your books. Are you going to bring out any more?

A. I have a couple written now that still need to be proofed and formatted. I hope to be able to announce them very soon. And there are several other writing projects I am also working on.

Q. What do you see in the future for the Gypsy Journal and for yourselves? Any long term plans to settle down someplace in the future?

A. Terry and I are both in agreement that we’ll continue to do just what we are doing for as long as we possibly can. We’re both in pretty good health, we’re having fun, and we’re happy. Why would we want to do anything else? As long as we can physically continue, and as long as our readers keep on wanting what we produce, we’ll be out here exploring America’s small towns and back roads, and writing about our travels.

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I spent most of yesterday working on the new issue of the Gypsy Journal, making and receiving telephone calls about our upcoming Eastern Gypsy Gathering rally, and making plans for future rallies.

I had hoped to be almost done with the new issue by now, but I got lazy and didn’t keep on top of things, so now I have to push a little harder to make our deadline. It’s no big deal, we’re not behind schedule, I just have to knuckle down for a few days.

One call I got was from the manager of the Mercer County Fairgrounds in Celina, Ohio, to discuss the dates for our 2011 Eastern rally. That’s a long time from now, but it takes a lot of planning to get things arranged, and venues large enough to handle our size group book well in advance. We didn’t lock anything in yet, but right now we’re looking at either the third or last week of September.

We don’t want to go back to the same place over and over, but it’s not easy to find a venue that has the facilities that we need and that will work within our budget. We had a commitment with the good folks in Celina for three rallies, and we are looking forward to going back to the friendly little town. It’s a very nice fairgrounds, and they really bend over backwards to accommodate our needs. We have never found anybody we can work with as easily.

I also talked for a bit with Daryl Lawrence from Lawrence RV Accessories, and I already have his commitment to be a vendor at the 2011 Eastern rally. We are pleased that so many of our vendors return again and again. That tells us that we must be doing something right.

Daryl and I lamented the fact that it is very hard for vendors to make long range plans, because some RV clubs and organizations don’t seem to be willing to communicate with each other about rally plans, even after they have the dates and locations locked in. I’ve never been able to figure out that thinking. If everybody knows what everybody else is planning, we can work together, rather than planning events with conflicting schedules that only reduce the numbers of attendees and vendors, who can’t be in two places at once. It’s hard enough for vendors to make a profit in this economy as it is, but having to play silly waiting games to find out where and when some of the rallies are going to be held makes it almost impossible.

I also got a telephone call from my daughter Tiffany, to tell me that she and hubby Jim had stopped to check out some Indian petroglyphs on the banks of a dry wash about halfway between Snowflake and Holbrook, some 35 miles north of Show Low. They came around a bend in the wash and spotted a mountain lion feeding on something up ahead. The cougar quickly ran off, but Tiffany said its paw prints were as big as the palm of Jim’s hand up to the second knuckle. And that young man has big hands! They took their clue from the cat and took their leave too, in the opposite direction. Yes folks, some places remain where the West is still wild!

About 4:30 I escaped from my desk long enough for us to drive to Pinetop with Greg and Jan for dinner at the Chuck Wagon Steakhouse, which was a favorite of mine when we lived here. The restaurant is very rustic looking, with an Old West theme that includes an impressive bar, saddles, mounted big game heads, and a chandelier made from elk antlers.  

Greg and I had rib eye steaks, while Miss Terry and Jan choose the petite sirloins. I was pleased to learn that the food and service were both just as good as I remembered.  Greg, Jan, and Terry were all very happy with their meals also. When the waitress came by to inquire if we wanted dessert, we were all too full to say yes.

Back at the Elks campground, I worked some more on the new issue of the paper and then just before dark we decided that dessert wasn’t such a bad idea after all. So we all piled back in Greg and Jan’s truck and went to Dairy Queen!

Thought For The Day – When you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.

Click Here To Register For Our Eastern Gypsy Gathering Rally!